Posted in Faith, Hope

Wait . . .

I’m working through questions and fears and insecurities.

I’m wondering if God will show up . . . when God will show up . . .

trying so hard to remember all the times HE HAS SHOWN UP.

And today, I get this reminder every where I turn: WAIT ON ME.

All from Facebook:

a post from one of my favorite singers reminds me of Psalm 130:5: I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in His word I put my hope.

His Word promises that He’ll never leave me, nor forsake me.
I am His child, and He wraps me in His arms of grace and love and mercy.
Perfect love, HIS perfect love, casts out all fear [and doubt and worry].

Another post from this wonderful singer: her Scripture snack is about waiting.

A fellow blogger is waiting on flooded roads to be passable:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/A-Grace-full-life/124125761004183

A reminder from (in)courage blog:
“For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun!” Is 43:19

From a friend: Hebrews 11:1
Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.
I may not see God working
right now on my behalf – but I hear Him saying that my waiting is the proof of my faith – the confidence of my hope – the assurance that He
IS working on my behalf.

Lord, I’m waiting. Do not leave me; do not forsake me; do not let my faith be shaken and shallow; let my hope be in You and in Your promise of life more abundant – living to the fullest – adventure and grace and excitement and mercy and joy and peace.

Forgive my years of rushing to and fro – looking and surviving but never being satisfied or content – forgetting and ignoring You and the life You offer – squandering the abundance and inheritance You died to give me.

Help me to wait – patiently, with confidence, with trust.

Posted in Faith

Faith is hard sometimes

I believe that God told me to quit my job at Union High School. Not only was the drive long, but gas prices were skyrocketing and my family time was being squelched. Also, I no longer agreed with the school’s mission or methods; it was time for me to go. I felt great peace when I quit; the relief was almost tangible.

I had lots of people ask me if I was crazy. Why would someone quit a job when the economy is this bad? How would I find another job? What if I couldn’t find a teaching job? Really, am I insane?

This past week, I’ve been very fearful. I thought for sure I’d have a job by now. I’m still trying to decide if I want to continue teaching… or write professionally… or work from home for more family time… and Satan is making me question myself: am I capable? employable? stupid for thinking God would talk to me?

See, money is starting to get very tight, and I still don’t know what God wants for me, and I see no money coming in. And I’m praying that He’ll provide, that I’ll only do what He wants…

And then I read this post, http://www.aholyexperience.com/, and I wonder if God is asking me to walk to the beat of a different drum.

Here’s what spoke to me most from this post: “catastrophizing is how we make our own soul-cages. That fear’s always the flee ahead.” … “Abide. Because it’s never about your capabilities. When you’re in covenant with Christ, it’s His responsibility to cover your cracks, to be all your competency and completeness. Inabilities, in Christ, are made all-sufficient, just-right abilities. Abandon worries — and wholly abide.” … “Waiting is just a gift of time in disguise — a time to pray wrapped up in a ribbon of patience — because is the Lord ever late.” … “Because on this whole spinning planet — this is the only rhythm that makes music: to do the will of the One whose heart beats at the center of the cosmos. Regardless of what anyone thinks of us. Maybe the genuine followers of Christ always march to their own drum — Thrum: I will walk with God. Thrum: Even if I walk different than everyone else. Was it just that he heard his name called down the canyons of his heart — and love compelled him to lunge forward? Love is never a trite feeling. Love is a wildfire in the bones, a burning flame willing to serve — willing to say yes. “Mom?” Malakai’s speaking to me — but he’s looking out the side window … Or within. “Do you think God’s calling our name too — all through our hearts — to come step out — and we’re just not listening?”

So, Lord, I’m listening ~ I’m waiting ~

I’m scared ~ but by faith, I’m trusting.