Posted in LOVE

Dreams Broken

What do you do with dreams that are broken? unfulfilled? maybe even ‘wrong’ dreams?

What do you do when you come face-to-face with the reality that your dreams are not God’s dreams?

1 Corinthians 13:11a  When I was a child, I spoke like a child, thought like a child, and reasoned like a child. (GWT)

I wanted to be a doctor. I wanted to be rich ~ all doctors are. I wanted to be important and respected and honored ~ doctors get all that. I wanted a big house with lots of horses and a garden and a ton of adopted children ~ and as a doctor I would be able to have all that.

1 Corinthians 13:11b  When I became an adult, I no longer used childish ways. (GWT)

I spent 3 years of college pretending I was going to be a doctor. I had my first child, worked a year as a Certified Nurse Aide, and taught a vacation bible school for 5th graders. I decided being a doctor wasn’t me. I didn’t do well in Chemistry (a lack of effort, not ability – but a good excuse to quit).

I didn’t want the life of a doctor (on call, weekends, holidays); and I didn’t want to work so hard to clean a huge house, manage horses and children, and grow a garden (I have a brown thumb anyway).

These were all childish dreams – dreams I gave up as an adult ~ to be an English teacher.

I spent another 3 years of college getting a degree in English education. I was not excited about English – I often felt out of place because I didn’t eat, sleep, and breathe literature. There are many, many ‘staples’ of English literature that I have not read and have no desire to read.

But I wanted to teach.

I loved preparing lesson plans (I’m an obsessive planner) ~ I wanted to influence teens like my best teachers had influenced me ~ I was good at English (and math and science and history) ~ I wanted the life of ease teachers have (weekends, summers, and holidays OFF). I thought I could be a better mother as a teacher than as a doctor because I’d have more time with my kids.

BOLOGNA!!!

1 Corinthians 13:12 a & c  Now we see a blurred image in a mirror … Now my knowledge is incomplete.

I am jobless at the moment. I’m questioning all I’ve ever wanted ~ thought ~ dreamed …

I don’t want a blurred image in a mirror.

I don’t want to drag myself off to a job that is not what I like to do,

or am passionate about doing,

or am sure that it is what God wants me to be doing.

I want to ‘see very clearly’ (12 b). I want to clearly see His image reflected in the mirror when I look at myself.

When someone looks into my eyes, I want them to see Jesus. To see Who He is to me: love, peace, mercy, grace. To see what He can be to them.

I want to ‘have complete knowledge [of God] as God has complete knowledge of me.’

I want to know His dreams for me (at least the next step) ~ I want to know His heart for others (what of Him do I need to reflect to them?) ~ I want Jesus.

1 Corinthians 13:13  So these three things remain: faith, hope, and love.

Faith ~ He’ll show me the next step; He’ll walk it with me; He’ll provide for me as I go;

Hope ~ He’ll use even me; I do have a purpose here – an impact to make; I can reflect Jesus clearly;

Love ~ love God, love others.

But the best one of these is LOVE.

Why is love the best? I think because it is the only one we’ll need ~ experience ~ have ~ use in heaven.

 

 

 

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Author:

I live with my college sweetheart and our three lovely (most days) children. I'm still discovering divine relationship with my Savior ~ learning about parenting and marriage ~ trying to become what I'm meant to be. Join me ~ if you will ~ and walk this journey with me.

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